Many thanks to GMP's Gareth Hughes for sending me the 'heads up' on this story from the Plain English Campaign which he found in the Manchester Evening News.
Apparently the PEC are upset at what they are terming 'ploddledygook'. Try saying that when you're a little 'over refreshed'.
Claiming that they have noticed an increase in the number of complaints they receive about police communication, particularly slogans. They are calling on the country’s police forces to return to basics – starting with the language used to communicate with the public.
Their favourite examples include:
* A message on Northumbria Police's website saying: "Northumbria Police is committed to tackling crime in your area."
"I suspect most people in Northumbria assumed that," said the PEC spokeswoman, Marie Clair "It would be worrying if a police force wasn't committed to tackling crime."
* A Lincolnshire Police message which said: "The ambition of Lincolnshire Police is to: focus on the citizen, achieve the highest standards of professionalism, deliver excellent performance and so inspire confidence amongst the people we serve."
"Could they have an ambition to do the opposite of those things?" said the PEC spokeswoman. "Interesting that they don't appear to aspire to catch criminals."
* Northamptonshire Police's "Mission Statement" - "Policing in partnership to: reduce and prevent crime, reduce and prevent anti-social behaviour and disorder, reduce fear of crime and disorder, increase public confidence, improve public safety, help communities to work together, bring offenders to justice."
"What else could their mission be?" said the spokeswoman. "Doesn't need saying."
* The titles Suffolk Police gave to some senior officers and staff, including: "Head of Protective Services", "Head of Citizen Focus", "Director of Criminal Justice Change" and "Director of Knowledge Architecture".
"Who could guess that these were police officers?" said the PEC spokeswoman. "What are these jobs?"
* Norfolk Police's description of its control room as "Citizen Focus Command".
"We are particularly taken by this," said the spokeswoman. "It appears to be a strange mix of Star Trek and NYPD Blue."
* A Norfolk Police press release which announced a "new look" from April 1, and said the force was replacing existing policing areas with a "County Delivery Unit", which would try to find "local solutions to local problems", had a new "strapline" saying "Our Priority is You", talked of the force's "end game", and said officers would start wearing a "wicking" shirt and a "blouson".
"Our Priority is You?" said the PEC spokeswoman. "Am I a bigger priority than catching Norfolk's top villain? And 'County Delivery Unit' sounds like a milk round. And we like the fashion tips. Blouson!? I don't know what it is, but I don't think Dixon of Dock Green wore one."
* A statement on Essex Police's website quoting a police authority chairman saying: "We believe that we have a unique style of policing in Essex, where we strive to always put the customer first."
"Unique? Do they police in a completely different way to every other force?" said the spokeswoman. "Customers? Do the police really have customers?"
* An Essex Police press release headed: "Putting you First" and saying: "There are 47 police stations in Essex: 12 of which are open around the clock."
"The opposite of what most people would conclude," said the spokeswoman. "Isn't it saying, sorry, nearly 75% of police stations are not open after 5pm?"
* A West Midlands Police press release which said: "The concept of neighbourhood policing was introduced in 2006... West Midlands Police was one of the first forces in the country to introduce neighbourhood policing."
"An example of saying what's always been happening but presenting it as new," said the spokeswoman. "Neighbourhood policing started two years ago? Surely Robert Peel introduced neighbourhood policing nearly 180 years ago."
* A Humberside Police press release saying burglaries were caused by "insecurities".
"Are we witnessing a disturbing new situation in society? Poor criminals are considering breaking into houses because they feel insecure?" said the PEC spokeswoman. "The costs of counselling could be huge."
* Hertfordshire Police's "prime example of the stating the blindingly obvious" - a poster saying "Don't Commit Crime".
"Do the public really understand terms such as 'County Delivery Unit? asks Ms Clair, "It sounds more like a milk round than policing. It seems that administrative confusion is hitting our streets when we really need to spend the resources on policing. Maybe this Ploddledygook is the latest weapon against the criminals - it certainly had me floored."
So, what's your curent favourite example of 'ploddledygook'? Do share. No names published or attributed !
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